Networking: Houston WAHMS offers some great networking for our members and guests, I received the below Blog Article and felt that it would be great to share with our Members giving some insite to how hard networking is for some people and ideas on how to overcome them.

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Calling all shy and introverted networkers…will anyone show up?
Posted by Debbie Langford on Aug 9, 2010 11:14:10 AM

I recently created and published a poll on LinkedIn.com using the Polls Application. (By the way, this is a super easy tool to take the pulse of your network on various topics.) I sent it to 250 of my LinkedIn contacts and 89 responded over a two-week period. Here is the poll question with the results:

Networking is difficult for shy or introverted people. What would you say is the main reason for this?

35% - I don’t know what to say
24% - I can’t stand the “forced” small talk
17% - I don’t want to bother people
13% - What if I ask and they say “no”
11% - I feel like I’m asking for charity

I see two things that stand out as the root causes for networking difficulty based on the above responses: lack of confidence and lack of trust. Without confidence, you will not attend a networking event without knowing someone nor will you feel comfortable beginning a conversation with a stranger. Without trust you will not ask for a referral from a friend nor will you ask for help from a former colleague. If the truth be told, networking is not just difficult for the shy or introverted person, but for all of us.

As an outplacement consultant, I commonly find that a job seeker’s confidence is easily shaken. A good part of the job search involves putting yourself “out there” to get referrals and leads even with possible rejection staring you in the face. This scenario can be translated to any professional who sells or markets products, services or ideas.

Let me propose a new way to view networking. It’s is not about meeting people. It’s about becoming the type of person that other people want to meet. This requires an internal change, beginning with what you think about yourself.

1. Focus on what you do have, rather than what you don’t! Make a list of what you have to offer (regardless of whether you are employed or not). People gravitate towards those who generate positive energy and avoid those who are perpetually looking at the glass as half empty.

2. Serve as a resource to others. Try sharing your valuable expertise, or helping others reach their goals, or by solving a problem. It’s amazing how loyal people will be to someone who simply makes an effort to help.

3. Think of networking as an investment of your time, rather than a waste. Wouldn’t it be great to always find what you need in just one or two phone calls or emails? If you’ve put in the time to build and maintain connections with others, you probably can. Take the time NOW; you may not have the time (or energy) later.

4. Polish your professional image. What are you telling others by the way you dress and carry yourself? Dress from the inside out so that others will notice a person who respects himself/herself. A neat and professional appearance communicates competency in a strong, non-verbal way.

I’m sure you can think of other confidence and trust builders—people are motivated in many different ways. The key is to change your mind set. Remember, networking is not about meeting people. It’s about becoming the type of person that other people want to meet. But making an internal change is only part of issue.

Because this topic is too broad to tackle in one article, I’ll be sharing practical strategies on how to work large group events next month, and then tackle ways to create success with one-on-one meetings in a third article. In the meantime, there are a few books I’d like to recommend for you to review on this subject.

They are:
Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi
Dig Your Well before You’re Thirsty by Harvey Mackay
The Go-Giver by Bob Burg & John David Mann
QBQ-The Question behind the Question by John G. Miller

Hope that you found this article useful!

Catherine James

South Chapter Coordinator